Changes

I haven't posted in awhile.  I've been busy packing, pondering, moving, unpacking, hiking and on and on.  It has been daunting for me to post again.  There is a lot I would like to write about, but don't know if I have the courage to do it.  The move has been a very emotional one for me.  I thought my emotions were causing the physical pain I was going through because the day we signed papers with a realator I was in tremendous pain.  I couldn't even do much but lie in pain the next day.  It subsided, but would came back now and again. So 2 weeks later I went to the doctor about it.  I thought maybe I was having an ulcer.  Nope.  I am fit as a fiddle.  But the pain was there.  The doctor thought it may be an ovarian cyst.   So he had me get an ultrasound.  The day I went in for it was when I didn't have any more pain.  Of course.  The technician said it was most likely a ovarian cyst, although there was no sign of it.   She informed me that women apparently get a cyst when they ovulate, but they usually go away with the cycle.  But then sometimes they stick around and get bigger.  Like this one with me.  They leak out (which is where the pain comes in to play) and usually dissipate on their own.  So, although I went through a lot of pain.  That was it.  Problem gone.  Pain gone.  I was relieved.

But the emotions with the move are still here.  I suppose some depression.  No I don't suppose, I know I have been depressed.  But there is no time for that so I keep pressing on.   I have found that I don't like big changes.  Like moving.  I need things in order.  I also have a control problem.  So not owning this house we live in now is hard for me.